My Journey Into Awakening

5–7 years ago, I was a young, reckless girl with a deep curiosity about spirituality — something that had been with me since childhood.

As a child, I was always in awe, wondering about the soul, past lives, and the Universe. I often found myself asking: Who are we? What are we doing here? At the time, I had no real access to spiritual knowledge, so I lived an ordinary life with only random glimpses of awakening. Many times, I ignored those moments — I was young — but whenever information came my way, I would reach for it and dive in.

Even while enjoying my “sweet and fun” human life, I knew something bigger was waiting for me. I could feel it since childhood and trusted it would unfold when the time was right.

Struggles and Turning Points

About 5–7 years ago, I began to feel pulled in deeper. Yet, I was facing challenges: I was in an unhappy relationship for over four years, unsure about my future, and just starting a career in fitness. Fitness turned out to be an amazing doorway to inner growth, but deep down I knew it wasn’t my final destination.

At that time, I lacked self-belief. I allowed others — including my partner — to dim my light. I was a people-pleaser, constantly avoiding conflict, and abandoning myself for the sake of peace. But spirituality was calling me back, and this time, I stayed.

My journey began with meditation and books, which sparked a deep hunger for knowledge and wisdom. The more I learned, the hungrier I became. Slowly, I started to observe myself and my patterns. The Universe kept showing me that I had to leave my relationship — again and again — until I finally found the courage to see myself clearly and choose me.

Ending that relationship was painful, but it was also liberating. For the first time, I felt free to create my true identity. It was like being reborn.

Deepening the Path

With new space in my life, my spiritual practices grew. More reading, more meditation, more self-discovery. Guided by intuition, I was led to take a Reiki course, and that opened another door.

Life continued to test me. I found myself in an unfulfilling “love affair,” again making myself small and forgetting my worth. But from this suffering, my spiritual awakening unfolded.

One night, I experienced everything — the pain of the world, the breath of the plants, the pulse of life itself. It was incredible, painful, and beautiful all at once. Since then, I’ve felt more and more in tune with the Universe.

I discovered new modalities, gained wisdom, and felt unstoppable. But at times, I also feared losing my connection to the Divine. In those moments, I felt like an unconscious human again, searching for guidance that no one seemed able to give. These cycles of connection and disconnection became part of my path.

The Roller Coaster of Awakening

In more recent years, I’ve faced a different kind of hardship. At times, I felt so connected to the Universe that I didn’t want to live a human life anymore. Not in the sense of ending my life, but in the sense that Earthly life felt meaningless compared to what I knew and felt spiritually.

This journey has been a roller coaster. There are moments of deep joy and expansion, and others when joy feels fleeting and life feels empty. Yet, every layer I peel back reminds me why I am here.

Where I Am Now

Today, I know my purpose is higher. I am here to peel back the layers of consciousness, shift realities, and let go of old programming and patterns.

Awakening has no way out — and I now understand that’s because I awakened for a reason.